Forgotten
by C. Jayne Reed
Summary: Dawn reminds Ash of all the people he's left behind, all the goodbyes he's given that seemed final - including her own. Pearlshipping. One-sided Amourshipping. My first fanfic. REWRITING. This story WILL be updated soon (I am INSANELY busy in real life right now, and I've been hit with writer's block, so that's impeding my progress) so no need to worry! I'll be back.
1. Chapter 1

**PENDING REWRITE: Because I liked the story I began with more than the story it turned into. Probably chapters two through four will be used in a different fic by me one day, but for now, I'm going to start again from chapter one.  
**

I just have a lot of Pearlshipping feels, okay? Ash and Dawn are somewhat OOC here (and older - I'd say about sixteen, seventeen?), and Serena is probably wayyy out of character, but I have no grip on her personality right now, so that'll have to be excused.

I don't own Pokemon and never will, etc., etc.

Enjoy!

* * *

Her blue hair is longer than Ash remembers, worn up in a ponytail, and her eyes are quieter, that spark of cheerfulness absent.

"Dawn." The word – her name – has a strange tang to it as it leaves his lips. It tastes like an apology. He can't imagine why, but he wants to take it back, start again with something more…appropriate.

"Hello," she says, coolly. Her eyes – those quiet eyes – flit over Serena, and a hardness and a sadness comes to them. But she's still smiling.

She turns to Ash and Ash gets the distinct feeling that she is looking through him. Hurriedly, apprehensive without knowing why, he makes introductions: "Dawn, this is Serena; Serena, this is my old friend, Dawn."

Serena says, "Hi, I've heard so much about you," and offers her hand.

The smile freezes to Dawn's face. "Somehow I doubt that." She ignores the proffered hand, and awkwardly Serena lowers it. "Pleased to meet you," Dawn adds, and looks anything but.

Beside him, he feels Serena shiver at the waves of fury rolling off the coordinator. It's near tangible. Ash asks, "Have I…done anything to make you angry?"

Serena intervenes, with false cheer, "Right, so. I'll leave you two to catch up. Clemont and Bonny and I will, um" – she falters at Dawn's glare, then concludes in a rush – "eat. Or something! Maybe we can talk later," she attempts. "I mean. Ash, right. He can be _pretty _stupid. I don't know why you're mad – if you even are, he's kind of bad at reading signs, too, so you might not even be, I don't know you that well – but I completely understand."

Dawn slumps, and the false smile melts off her face. "No, you can't understand – but listen, Serena, I…I shouldn't have been so rude to you. I'm sorry. This" – she gestures toward Ash, hands flying so close to his face that her intention might be to slap him – "has absolutely nothing to do with you. Ash and I should be there soon."

Ash wonders how Dawn defines 'soon.' Her face is resolute, stony: he imagines the two of them talking – or, more likely, arguing – until the pier they stand upon rots into the sea. And as they drown, they'll still be arguing.

Relief is visible upon Serena's face, and she all but runs off.

"So," Ash begins. His tongue feels heavy, and strangely enough, so does his heart. It aches when he looks at her. He says the first thing that pops to his mind: "You look different – I mean, in a good way, not that your before-look was bad…never mind. How've you been?"

Dawn is frowning. She ignores the question and observes without malice, "She's pretty."

He bristles at the implications behind those two words, though her voice holds no emotion. "You say that as though it's a crime. What, are you jealous?"

"Don't you dare accuse me of that." She straightens her back, and in her posture is a clear protest. "I am not jealous, just pissed off. And, as always, appreciative of a good hairdo. Wonder what kind of conditioner she uses. Anyway, I brought some stuff for you." Dawn kicks at the box at her feet, forgotten in the earlier discussion. "Misty gives her regards. Do you ever call her, at least say hi every other year to your first-ever traveling companion?" She pulls out an envelope calmly, but her hands are trembling. "And this. This is from your mom. She sends her love. I'll bet you five bucks that you haven't seen her since you started travelling Unova."

That's true, though he tries not to think about it. His hands clench into fists at his sides. "Dawn, what –"

"And guess what!" Her face glows with a twisted, bitter sort of triumph. She's almost laughing as she continues: "Brock says hello, and Cilan and Iris – they're dating now, not that you'd care – send their best wishes. So do May and Max – remember them?"

She flashes that oh-so-familiar Dawn-smile, beautiful if eerily bereft of emotion. He's missed it, Ash realizes. And her. More than he realized.

He tries to tell her, but she overrides him with an incomplete (but still too long) list of all those who he has known, who he has forgotten, abandoned, forsaken: "Misty-Brock-Gary-Tracey-May-Max-Professor Oak-Iris-Cilan –" she breaks off, choking on her words and the weight of them. "For Arceus's sake, Ash. Your _mother._ Remember her?"

"Dawn." Again it's an apology, though now he knows what for. He rubs his neck, searches for the words that will make this right.

Of course, no mere words can. Actions speak louder, after all. But he's at a loss.

Dawn's gaze is not the only quiet thing about her: tears pool in her eyes, silent and heart wrenching. "And when you've finished this region, you'll ditch Serena and Clemont and Bonny, and the cycle will begin anew."

A half-laugh, half-sob escapes her. "Won't it, Ash? And Serena'll come to visit for a few days but you won't talk to her, not really, so she'll just bond with the new girl. Or pretend to."

The shame is backbreaking. Ash can't bear to look at her: Dawn is the embodiment of that shame, and her eyes are so damn quiet that he can't hear himself think over the silence they radiate. _You're an idiot, _he tells himself.

"I've missed you. Though I've tried not to. I've tried." She shrugs, the nonchalance of the gesture forced. "No one can say I haven't. And who knows, maybe my efforts will amount to something one day."

Ash hates her and understands her for that, for not wanting to miss him, and loves her for that, for the trying.

Sweet Arceus in the freaking sky. _You're. An. Idiot. _He wants to hit himself for his denseness.

He _loves _her. And he did then, too, in Sinnoh, and he never told her, and – inexplicably – never contacted her after the World Junior Cup came and went, even though his heart had leapt into his throat every time he'd tried to talk to her in Unova, and he'd choked on it. Cilan and Iris had teased him mercilessly about his inability to speak to her, what it meant.

Which was: he loved her; he loves her.

"You're too late," Dawn says, as though she's read his thoughts. (They have always been perfectly in harmony, but – unfortunately for Ash and his sudden realization – he had thought their more-than-friends-camaraderie, their _togetherness_, was limited to tag-battles.) "They've all moved on – well, not your mom, since you _are _her only child and all. But everyone else."

"You didn't mention yourself as a part of the 'moved-on' group. Dee-dee," he adds, in an effort to make her smile, to vanquish the tears running down her cheeks. He is certain that she won't let him brush them away, though his fingers itch to touch her. He simultaneously hopes that she hasn't moved on and hopes that she has (though it seems as though she has – upon the first moments of her visit, before the meeting went sour, she showed off her ribbons from Kanto.) She deserves to move on, and he isn't sure he deserves a second chance with her. So he says nothing.

_Actions speak louder than words._

She stares into the sea, the same shade (but lacking the depth) of her eyes, and says, "Misty used to like you. And when it was clear you weren't coming back, well. She continued with her life, unaffected. You were only a fond memory to her, but I'll bet that you haven't even afforded her that much, the remembering. She's with Tracey now."

"I missed you," he says, and although he means it, the words sound hollow, cliché. And of course they do. It's not as though he's exactly proven missing her over the past few years. Or today, accusing her of jealousy of Serena. Why did he do that? "Really."

"I should've taken a hint from Misty, huh," Dawn continues as though he hasn't spoken. "Whatever. Probably should've thought of that before I let you into my thoughts."

She sits down at the edge of the dock, crosses her arms. Scowls at the sunset and the sea it reflects on. "This has been a fun visit, Ash. Sorry about being so rude to Serena. That was pretty unnecessary. It's just that I feel bad for her – she doesn't know how forgettable she is to you, like everyone else you've ever met. But" – she bares her teeth in a grim approximation of a smile – "I guess ignorance is bliss, so don't tell her. _Do _tell Bonny and Clemont I said hi, though."

"Your boat's not even here yet," he says. It sounds like she's saying goodbye.

Forever?

Dawn checks her Pokétch, and Ash thinks about all the trouble they had gone through, traipsing around Sinnoh looking for the apps. He smiles and wishes he could make her do so, too. "Well, then," Dawn says, "I suppose I'll just wait 'til it comes."

_Actions speak louder than words._

And while Dawn won't grant him forgiveness for anything he does today, but maybe he can voice his epiphany without speaking.

He sits beside her, and wipes at the tears, even though they've dried. She flinches at his touch but says nothing, and when he tilts her face towards his, she stares hard at his eyebrows, or forehead, or lips – anywhere but his eyes.

Ash hesitates for a second, then kisses her. Her lips are salty from the sea and her tears, and she's simultaneously kissing him back and pushing him away.

"You're too late," she snarls, and again come the tears. Dawn wipes them away furiously, and Ash considers saying it – _I love you _– but he's tongue-tied, _again_; because he's never been good at stating his feelings, because seeing Dawn actually shed tears without trying to hide or downplay them is so unlike her, because she kissed him back and he still needs to process that.

Dawn stands, paces. "So you think that somehow kissing me will make the last few years disappear? I'm only one of many you've abandoned, Ketchum. When you've apologized to everyone else and made it up to them – maybe you should talk to Dialga or Celebi, see if you can go back and fix things – then maybe we can talk about your alleged _love_. Damn you," she says suddenly, "it's not that _easy_, Ash. I'm not that stupid, or desperate, and I never will be."

"I –"

"Leave me be." She whispers it. "I'll tell your mom that you love and miss her, and will contact her soon. That message fell on deaf ears for me. Any other messages you want relayed?"

He can see that his actions are not going to work – nothing short of time to heal, thousands upon thousands of apologies (and not just to Dawn, or his mother), time to forgive, and a whole lot of luck will work. He sighs, and tries to ignore the burning tears in his own eyes.

"I'll miss you," he says.

"I'm so sure," she replies.

And they sit there in silence until her boat finally comes.

They do not say goodbye. When the boat is nothing more than a speck in the distance, Ash gives a little wave and resolves to write a few letters.

He tries to ignore the tears, and tilts his hat down because, eventually, he can't.

* * *

Jeez, that was rambly. I started with a plot-esque thing and it turned into a kind of rant. Ash didn't say nearly as much as I felt he should've.

And Dawn. ;_; Gee whiz, the girl needs a hug.

Read and review, please!


	2. Chapter 2

Woohoo, chapter 2!

You guys might remember the beginning part of this from before. This chapter isn't very Pearlshippy so much as one-sided Amourshippy.

Still don't own Pokemon, so keep your lawsuit to yourself.

Enjoy!

* * *

Serena is loathe to admit it, but that Dawn girl made her worry about Ash.

The mere look of the coordinator was enough – that barely-hidden anger, those unreadable blue eyes. When Dawn had sent her off, Serena had been thankful, but now she can't help but wonder if Dawn had done so to get rid of any witnesses.

Not that she thought Dawn would _hurt _Ash. At least, not physically. But the fury in Dawn's countenance, the coldness of her demeanor – it was cause for concern. As was the way Ash looked at her: with a guilty, slow realization, a _dawning_, so to speak. And an appreciation. That had bothered Serena, certainly.

When Ash comes to the restaurant, he's looks lonely, defeated, visibly shaken. Dried tear tracks have made streaks down his face. Serena touches his arm: "Hey. Where's Dawn?"

"She left." He sits heavily and musters a smile for Clemont's and Bonnie's sake. "She said to say hi to you guys, and that she's sorry that she couldn't stay for longer. Had some, uh, urgent business back in Hoenn."

"Aww," Bonnie whines, "but I wanted to introduce her to Clemont!"

Serena thinks, _right, like Ash would allow you to work your matchmaking magic with the wonderful Dawn and your brother._ "Leave him alone," she tells Bonnie, unsure of whether she's saying this for Ash's sake or her own. Of course, the protest makes Bonnie more determined to not do so.

"Dontcha think they would've made a great couple, Ash?" Bonnie grins dreamily. "I could be the flower girl at the wedding, and it would be _fabulous_, and you could be Clemont's best man!"

Clemont rubs his temples. "Bonnie, for the last time, I _do not _want to date someone I've never met!"

Ash is scowling. "No," he says in response to Bonnie's question. There is a barely-suppressed irritation in his voice, and a deep, abiding tiredness. "They wouldn't have made a great couple at all."

Clemont seems to take offense to this, despite his earlier complaint: "And why not?"

"She's…" he frowns at the table, trails off. "I – I can't really describe her."

Taking his glasses from his face, Clemont repeats, "Why not?"

Ash shrugs. "What can I say, Clemont?" He sighs, looks out the window. "She's…indescribable."

An awkward silence ensues, not so much at the words as the wistful, rueful tone to them. Serena thinks, _Oh, so they were dating_.

She isn't really sure how she feels about this.

The silence drags on until, jerked from whatever daydream he's in the midst of by a cough from Serena, Ash adds hastily, "And you know how much you love describing things, Clemont! Your head would probably explode from…lack of, um, describability. If you tried to write her a love letter or something."

Serena says, "Why did she leave?"

"Is she pretty?" Bonnie demands.

"Bonnie, she's a good battler and –"Ash hesitates – "friend of mine, so does it matter?" But at Bonnie's subsequent whining, he says, "To answer your question, yeah, she is." He nods at Serena, and she wonders if he expects her to agree. Hell, no – no need to fuel _that _fire.

But instead of waxing rhapsodic about Dawn's visual qualities – thank Arceus – Ash says, "She left because of _urgent business._"

They're supposed to believe this, apparently. Serena rolls her eyes. "Of course."

"Pretty," Clement muses, genuinely interested. He adjusts his glasses. "What's she look like?"

The waiter brings their food before Serena can tell him (because certainly Ash won't, seeing as she's _indescribable _and all), and they all dig in.

Well, except for Ash. Out of the corner of her eye, Serena can see that he's not even looking at the plate she ordered for him (Clemont had said he would like it) and is instead staring out the window, at the sea and the sunset.

"Ash," she says, and he rewards her with a cracking of knuckles, as though he's about to undertake some huge project. She repeats his name to no avail, and finally, exasperated, says, "You're gonna go blind from staring into the sun, you know."

"Hmm," he says, and blinks. "Sorry, could you repeat that? I was just lost in thought."

_Probably 'cause it's such unfamiliar territory for you, _Serena thinks, and cracks a little smile. "Never mind. Penny for your thoughts?"

He shakes his head. "They are definitely worth way more than a penny."

Ah, so he's musing about the coordinator.

Serena stabs a pea on her plate. She chews it deliberately slowly and says, "Are you sure about that?"

Ash looks at her, finally, and she sees that he sees that she knew that he was thinking about Dawn and her worth ('definitely _way _more than a penny'). And that she disagrees with this appraisal – because Dawn made him cry, and Serena will _not _stand for that, even if he will. Ash's gaze sharpens.

This is going to be a long dinner.

* * *

And after that, it is a long month.

Not that Ash is still arguing with Serena – it was just a little quarrel, and they're both over it, no apologies uttered – but he's ignoring her, and Clemont and Bonnie, too.

Ash hasn't been able to get his gym badge from Korrina yet – the gym leader has been doing some sort of promotion on the PR videos, and hasn't been in town for a while – which Ash has used as an excuse to stay in Shalour.

Serena knows, however, that he's simply making calls, not waiting for Korrina. Usually he trains (and eats, voraciously of course) during the day; by evening he's hooked up to a video-chat screen and talks until he goes to sleep, whenever that is.

She's been eavesdropping – Serena's a bit ashamed to admit it to herself, but she can't help herself. She's listened to his first conversation with Misty – more like an everlasting quarrel, really – and wondered how the two ever became friends in the first place, if all they did was argue. But their squabble held a sort of warmth, a friendliness, that Serena envied. Arguing was just how Ash and Misty communicated, and it was somehow more meaningful than any saccharine sob-session could ever have been. He apologized in an almost timid way to Misty for leaving and never calling, and Misty retorted with a soft-toned smart-ass comment that somehow conveyed a different message. And then she'd told him that she'd appreciate him not disappearing again, because she had missed Pikachu ("Oh, yeah, and you, too."). Ash promised not to, which completely changed Misty's tone as she wondered aloud what Ash's promises were worth, seeing as he had a bad habit of forgetting friends. She had signed off without saying goodbye.

His conversation with a man named Brock was brotherly, a combination of curiosity, teasing ("So, Brock, have you gotten a girlfriend yet, or is Crogunk still watching you?"), and genuine self-deprecatory remorse. Brock was encouraging and offered advice on future conversations. Then some off-screen event – either a Nurse Joy or a medical emergency – caused him to give a hurried "I'll call you again soon" and sign off, leaving Ash smiling and shaking his head.

Serena left Ash alone when he spoke to his mother.

* * *

Another week and Ash seems to be done. Some of the apologies required more groveling – Misty's, for example, the second or third time they had talked, and Max wasn't exactly all smiles either – but now Ash is happy, and that makes Serena happy, too.

Except: Dawn still hasn't forgiven him; he didn't call her. He was probably scared.

Serena and Ash argue again over nothing during another dinner, without quite saying outright who or why or what they are arguing about. But it leaves them both inexplicably furious, and for a day or two they don't speak to each other.

Which is why Serena is surprised when Ash wakes her one morning for advice. They walk to his and Clemont's room – Clemont's gone to look for Korrina, some sort of gym leader heart-to-heart or something – and each take a seat at the desk.

Ash twiddles his thumbs, rubs his neck, and begins ever-so-eloquently: "So I have this friend."

Serena blinks. "Um, congratulations?"

"No, I mean, I need your help. Well, he does. In a hypothetical situation thing – he does these often." Ash doesn't quite meet her eyes. "See, he likes – no, is in love with" – he smiles – "this incredible girl."

Serena knows enough that 'I have this friend whose in a situation' really means '_I_'_m_ in a situation.' And the way Ash is fidgeting, the adorable nervousness…

Serena is suddenly hyperaware that they are alone, just the two of them, and Ash asked for her specifically. Her heart skids and then skips (merrily) a beat.

"So." She feigns nonchalance. "What's the problem?"

"The _hypothetical_ problem." Ash clears his throat. "Well, he's not sure if she likes him back. Also, she's angry with him."

Oh, the argument, right. It seems extremely, outrageously silly now. "I'm sure she's not _that _mad," Serena says solemnly. "And she probably likes him back, if he's as great as you say."

Ash's brow furrows. "I never –"

"Obviously, if you're friends with this guy, he's pretty nice, right?"

"Sometimes I wonder if he is," Ash says wearily, shaking his head. "Anyway, there's another thing. He's not good with the 'L' word. Or stating his feelings."

Ain't that the truth. Serena says, "So let's see. Hypothetically speaking: He's in love, and he's not sure if he is loved back. She's mad at him, or he_ thinks_ she still is – he could easily be wrong, of course."

"She made it pretty clear."

"Fine. And he's bad at voicing his feelings, right?"

Ash nods.

"There are two solutions, then. He can show her how sorry he is – and tell her, if he's got no problem with the 'sorry'word – and then after that, when she forgives him, after waiting a respectable time" – _or right now_, she muses _I wouldn't mind that_ – "he can…"

She trails off, looks away. Ash leans forward, looking at her intensely. "He can?"

"Well." She coughs, tries to ignore the way her heart is pounding. "He could, um, maybe. To show her, you know, how he feels?" She mumbles the next words into her lap, because her cheeks are heating up and she's sure that that's showing up on her face. "He could kiss her."

Serena peeks up from under the rim of her hat to gauge his assessment of her idea, but he's sighing, frowning but somehow smiling, too. "Already tried that." Then, "Um, that is, _he _did, hypothetically," but it comes after a tense silence that leaves Serena with too much time to think on that statement.

'Already tried that.'

But not with her.

This 'hypothetical' situation is not about her and Ash at all. The sureness with which he stated the anger of the girl. The wistfulness he employed when he said, "He loves her" – that same wistfulness that he said "Indescribable" a month ago with. That bashful awkwardness: not because _she, _Serena, was the recipient of Ash's un-say-able love, but because he was nervous about what she would suggest and hopeful that it would work – it can all only mean one thing.

He's talking about Dawn.

_Already tried that._

A lump grows in Serena's throat, which is unfortunate, as there is so much she wants to tell him. So much that she's _too late _to tell him because of some blue-headed Sinnohian coordinator.

"So," Ash says, unaware that, inside, Serena is screaming. "Any other ideas?"

_Any other ideas to help me tell Dawn I love her?  
_She's always found his unperceptive-ness to be occasionally endearing and occasionally irritating. Now it is heartbreaking, and he doesn't even know it.

Serena bites her lip, curls her fingers into the soft felt of the chair. Takes a couple of deep breaths, which doesn't help at all. "No."

Ash's shoulders slump. "Thanks anyw –"

She stands up and leaves the room, deaf to Ash calling, "Serena? Are you okay?"

And the answer to that is no.

No, she is _not _okay, and is unable to keep away the sobs when she gets out of the building. She tries breathing deeply but it doesn't work because she _Already tried that._

* * *

Huh, I almost feel bad for Serena. Weird.

Last time (you may recall), I portrayed Serena in a fairly negative light, which went against my 'don't vilify Serena' promise to myself.

So, this time, I gave Serena a less envy-related reason for disagreeing with Ash on Dawn's worth, added in some deeper emotions. Mostly because I'm pretty sure that the fandom has already turned her into a jealous rhymes-with-witch, or an idiot. I'm leaning more towards 'Satellite Love Interest' so far as the episodes I've seen - she doesn't seem to have any goals or interests or personality other than 'omgAsh' and _fashion_, 'cause Kalos=France=fashion duh.

In any case: what did you think? Read and review, please!


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